Anish Kapoor in Boston

What do you think this extremely rude version of the male symbol means? Is it an advertisement for Viagra? Is it a graphic for one of those pesky spams enticing you to turn your weeny member into a python? Is it a feeble imitation of a shiny steel Koons? Could it even be a warning of what might happen to your testis if you field a cricket ball up the crotch (not recommended even when wearing a shield)? No. This is Inwendig Volle Figur (Inwendig Full Figure?) by possibly the worst artist not to be blackballed by a Royal Academician: Anish Kapoor. Today the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston, USA, opened an exhibition of his stuff: Anish Kapoor: Past, Present, Future. And I thought Bostonians were supposed to be civilized. Silly me.

Gustav Klimt Update

I hope you noticed on Wednesday that I didn't quibble about the admission prices for Tate Liverpuddle's Gustav Klimt: Painting, Design & Modern Life In Vienna 1900, which opened today. That's because I suspect this is a once-in-a-lifetime exhibition. Not only are Klimt's works fetching astronomical bids at auction (CLICK), but also some of them are too fragile to be readily available for international loan. BBC News reports that more than 16,000 tickets have already been sold and that Tate expects to exceed its target of 100,000 visitors (CLICK). Klimt's Two Girls with an Oleander (ca 1890-2), which I've never seen before, is one of the exhibits (CLICK). It's a sad fact that subtle, beautiful artworks such as this are overshadowed by Klimt's "progressive" gimmicks. But perk up, Coxsoft. Culture Secretary Andy Burnham said yesterday the exhibition is a "major coup". Nice to know he reads Coxsoft Art News (CLICK). To book tickets click the title link.

Back-stabbing Advert!

Today the UK's clueless government launched a £3m advertising campaign to encourage teenagers to carry knives. Pardon? Well, the Home Office in its idiocy hopes that by showing teenagers graphic images of injuries inflicted by knives it will persuade them to stop carrying knives. The message is: "If you carry a knife you're more likely to get stabbed yourself." Now teenagers will feel obliged to carry knives to show their mates they're not frightened of being stabbed! As for the pathetic artwork, how is a chopped off thumb relevant to a message about stabbings? What a waste of £3m!

Klimt in Liverpool

Thanks to Liverpool's being European Capital of Culture 2008 - no snickering in the back row -, Tate Liverpool has pulled off a major coup: the first comprehensive exhibition of Gustav Klimt’s work ever staged in the UK. Gustav Klimt: Painting, Design & Modern Life in Vienna 1900 opens on 30 May and continues until 31 August. It's a biggy, and the cost of admission reflects that fact: £8 adults, £6 concessions. Click the title link.

Goya's Constable

Here's another of those recently discovered Goya sketches: The Constable Lampinos Stitched Inside a Dead Horse. His head protrudes from the anus of the beast; a pile of entrails lies nearby; and the village dogs are ready to tuck in. This must count as a cruel and unusual punishment, but is it a form of execution or a very nasty form of temporary imprisonment, like the stocks used in Merry Olde England? Click the title link to see all three sketches.

Beryl Cook R.I.P.

Sad news: BBC 1 o'clock News just announced the death of one of the UK's most popular artists Beryl Cook, famous for her cheeky chubby ladies. This self-portrait, The Artist At Work, is typical of her gentle humour: beer and cigarette in hand, wearing an arty beret. How to prick the pretensions of the art world and raise a smile at the same time. A fine artist with her own unique vision, she will be sorely missed.

Goya Sketches Turn Up

I should imagine staff at Christie's London did somersaults with joy when three Goya sketches presumed lost for 131 years were offered for auction by the owners of a private Swiss collection. These sketches were sold in Paris in 1877 and haven't been seen since, until now. They're expected to fetch £3m at Christie's in July. This is Goya's Repentance (ca 1812-29). The other two sketches, from the same period, are Bajar Rinendo, which depicts four women fighting, and The Constable Lampinos Stitched Inside a Dead Horse, a punishment for persecuting women and students. That's what I like to see: zero tolerance!

Psycho Buildings

An "art" exhibition called Psycho Buildings opens today at the Hayward Gallery in London. To mark its 40th anniversary the Hayward invited 10 wannabe architects from around the world to inflict "art" installations on the gallery. These include a boating pool, a transparent inflatable dome, a "disorientating passageway", a basement staircase created from a vibrant red semi-translucent fabric.... Need I go on? Clearly this piffle is designed to please mindless yuppies who know nothing about art and who crave fairground sensation, the same breed of twerps who injured themselves on Tate Modern's helter-skelter (CLICK). £10 for this tosh? You've got to be joking.

Young Elizabeth I Found

A rare portrait of Queen Elizabeth I as a young princess (right side of this picture) has been discovered in the Duke of Buccleuch's collection at Boughton House in Northamptonshire. Elizabeth's siblings, Edward VI and Mary I, are shown with her. The complete painting also includes dad Henry VIII and his jester, Will Somers. The work dates from 1650 to 1680 and may be a copy of an original painted panel of the early 1550s.

James Bond Art

Here's a work of art that will be viewed by millions of people: the cover of the latest James Bond novel Devil May Care, written by Sebastian Faulks. The unknown artist hints at violence and eroticism by imaginative use of a naked girl's flaming red hair changing into a splash of blood as it swings round her head. The book will be published tomorrow by Penguin. Its website (title link) loaded 5% of some Flash Player routine before I clicked the X box and escaped. When are web designers going to get the message that forcing their visitors to wait for all sorts of tosh to load isn't user-friendly and people won't wait (CLICK)? 4 seconds on broadband is all you've got!

How To Photo Art 4

As I've already pointed out, when in doubt pose a pretty girl in front of the daub. If you can't find a pretty girl or you live in a Muslim country, go for a silhouette instead. Here! How did that wabbit get in the picture? Sorry, folks; I can't take this art lark seriously, especially when Abu Dhabis put on the biggest retrospective of Picasso ever, with over 400 works from the artist’s personal collection on display in The Emirates Palace. I mean, those people are so backward and chauvinistic they won't allow their women to drive without a male escort. And it's a public flogging if a woman is caught!
How To Photo Art 1 (CLICK)
How To Photo Art 2 (CLICK)
How To Photo Art 3 (CLICK)

A Profound Oeuvre!

From the sublime (below) to the ridiculous. How does this piece of "sculpture" by Hans Josephsohn grab you? It looks to me as though it's made out of play dough shaped by a five-year-old with learning difficulties. But, according to the blurb, Josephsohn's "profound oeuvre is increasingly becoming recognised by a growing number of curators, artists and critics". Pull the other leg; it's got bells on. See this unbelievable tosh for yourself at Hauser and Wirth London, from 28 May to 26 July.

Miss Indiana Jones

Here she is: "Miss Indiana Jones", another detail from Pierre Joubert's painting for the cover of Chefs D'oeuvre Tome 4 (see below). Note the slime on the stairs, the flaring torch sucked by a draft, the girl's fearful posture, her torn clothes and the look of horror on her face as though she has seen a monster. Here's an artist who knows exactly what he is doing. Brilliant.
Update: click the title link for the full image.

Pierre Joubert

Just for comparison with the picture below, here's a detail from the cover of Chefs D'oeuvre Tome 4 by one of the greatest illustrators of children's books: Pierre Joubert (1910-2002). Look at the girl nervously taking the lead. Miss Indiana Jones? Like Norman Rockwell, Joubert also illustrated Scouts manuals. Click HERE and HERE for graphics comparing Joubert's style with Rockwell's. The title link takes you to some very early Joubert drawings (French text).

ICA Print Portfolio

Have you £950 to spare for a limited edition (60) of the ICA Anniversary Print Portfolio 2008? Yes or no, here's one of the six prints: Ryan Gander's photo of a watercolour illustration by Mark Beesley depicting the ICA’s artistic director, Ekow Eshun, carrying an abacus and a torch in the basement of the ICA, an image "inspired" by an illustration of a child exploring a haunted castle. Got that? The ICA believes the six artists it commissioned for the portfolio "are helping to define the art practice of the future"! I've always suspected the Institute of Contemporary Arts (ICA) inhabited another planet. Now I'm certain of it. How does a photo of a third-rate rehash of some Enid-Blyton-story illustration shape the art practice of the future?

V&A Jewellery Gallery

Last Saturday, after a four-year renovation costing at least £7m, the V&A Museum’s jewellery gallery reopened as the William and Judith Bollinger Jewellery Gallery, renamed in honour of the benefactors whose generosity allowed the work to be carried out. Designed by architect Eva Jiricna, the gallery displays 3,500 jewels from the V&A’s collection, ranging from jewelled pendants given by Queen Elizabeth I to her courtiers to work by contemporary goldsmiths and jewellers. This is one of the world's finest collection of jewels and you would have expected BBC London News to respond to the V&A's press release (CLICK), but no; it's having a long weekend (bank holiday today), so all we get is five minutes of stabbings, shootings and folks running in the rain! For a taste of what's on display, click the title link to view the Cartier 1928 Art Deco "Tutti Frutti" bandeau of Lady Mountbatten Vicereine of India.

Zhang Qikai

If you're into giant pandas, then Chinese artist Zhang Qikai is the man for you. He portrays them with a mixture of humour and sadness in surreal settings, such as the trigger guard of a revolver or dangling from a bunch of grapes. Twenty of his latest panda paintings will be on display at Marlborough Fine Art, London, from 29 May until 21 June. Click the title link to view 16 of them online. Their quality is excellent and their surrealist social comment makes a refreshing change. This will be Zhang Qikai's first UK exhibition.

Fashion In Hand

Look at the artwork on this English ivory fan with vellum leaf Dancing in the 18th Century (ca 1750 -1760), another gem from the Helene Alexander Collection at The Fan Museum in Greenwich, London, the only museum in the world exclusively dedicated to fans. This is one of the exhibits in its exhibition Fashion in the Palm of your Hand, which runs from 6 June to 26 October.

Art 4 Aids

Here's the second of two exhibitions opening at the Mall Galleries in London on 28 May and running until 8 June: Art 4 Aids. The works on display are all by Zimbabwean stone sculptors who belong to the Mystery In Stone organisation. "This exhibition supports Zimbabwean artists, their families and community, and helps towards the education and care of family members of Mystery In Stone artists who have been lost to AIDS." So, a good cause and, judging by Agnes Nyanhongo's Gift of Life, an exhibition of sensitive and evocative works of art.

Women Artists Show

The Mall Galleries in London opens two exhibitions next week. The first is the 147th annual Society of Women Artists Summer Exhibition, from 28 May until 8 June. I can't say I'm impressed by this garish daub Egg for Breakfast by Kaija Bullbrook SWA, but it's merely one of 500 works of art in all media that will be on display, including sculpture. So don't let it put you off. The Mall Galleries website still hasn't posted its admission fees for 2008, but I doubt that adult entrance will be much more than last year's £2.50.

Tate Street Art Update

Coxsoft Art stands corrected. This photo from The Daily Mail Online shows one of the new Street Art paintings on the facade of Tate Modern overlooking the Millennium Footbridge. It looks a lot better than Tate Modern's website led me to believe, certainly up to Banksy's standard. But The Mail's caption is a puzzle: "Scary...". What's so scary about a black cameraman? Well, if you think that's a bazooka he's pointing at you, yes, scary indeed. But it isn't. It's a video camera. Perhaps The Mail's caption reflects the fact that the bulk of teenage shootings in Ghetto London is black-on-black crime. So the first thought that sprang to the caption-writer's mind was "That's a gun". Note: psychological research demonstrates that eyewitness testimony in criminal trials is unreliable, because witnesses "see" what their world-taken-for-granted leads them to expect. Now that is really scary!

Tate Modern's Street Art

Tate Modern's Street Art opened yesterday and continues until 25 August. Six foreign artists were commissioned to paint Tate's river facade: Blu, JR, Sixeart, Nunca, Os Gêmeos and the artist collective Faile. Not a Banksy in sight. And these artists can't hold a candle to him. Do genuine street artists accept commissions? Tate thinks so. It claims this is "the first major public museum display of street art in London". Don't get excited, folks. Unlike Banksy, these artists have nothing to say. But the exhibition is free.

Christie's Bids A Koons

It looks as though London's top auction houses are trying to outbid each other for the attention of billionaire Philistines. First Christie's bid a Bacon on its Post War and Contemporary Art sale due on 30 June (CLICK). Sotheby's countered with another Bacon up for grabs on 1 July (CLICK). Now Christie's has upped the stakes with a Koons. Here it is: Jeff Koons' eye-catching girlie nonsense in chromium stainless steel with mirrored polish finish and transparent colour coating Balloon Flower (Magenta) from his 1995-1999 period ... er ... epoch? Over to you, Sotheby's. (Thinks: will Roman Abramovich be in a mood to buy "art" after his team ballsed up a penalty shootout in Moscow?)

Art Fund Prize Winner

And the winner of the £100,000 Art Fund Prize 2008 is The Lightbox, which is both a museum and an art gallery. Clearly the judges weren't seduced by the Wellcome Collection's offer to share the prize money between the losing finalists if it were to win (CLICK). They described The Lightbox - the product of a 14-year public campaign which raised £7m - as an "ingenious jewel" of grassroots action. For a graphic showing The Lightbox team celebrating their nomination in April and for links to all the finalists' websites CLICK.

Another Side of Bacon

Not to be outdone by Christie’s London sale of a Bacon in June (CLICK) Sotheby's in London has announced that it too has a Bacon for auction in its Evening Sale of Contemporary Art on 1 July: Study for Head of George Dyer (1967) Bacon's boyfriend. Sotheby's claims this is "an outstanding example of Bacon at the height of his powers". Spout bull like that for long enough and you start to believe it. So do the punters. I'll stick with Bugs Bunny. There's more art in one of his paws than there is in this mentally disturbed evocation of ambivalence.

Xstrata at Kew

Tomorrow a new architectural feature opens to the public in Kew Gardens: the Xstrata Walkway designed by Marks Barfield Architects, the firm that created the London Eye. The new walkway is 656ft long (200 of those Euro metre thingies) and 59ft (18m thingies) above the ground and allows visitors with a head for heights to stroll among a canopy of sweet chestnuts, limes and deciduous oaks. As I get vertigo replacing a light bulb, I'll give it a miss; but for wannabe Tarzans it looks great.

British Orientalist Art

London's Tate Britain has an interesting exhibition opening on 4 June and continuing until 31 August: British Orientalist Painting. Tate claims this to be "the first exhibition ever to survey British art of the Near East: Turkey, Syria, Palestine and Egypt from the seventeenth to the early twentieth centuries". With over 120 paintings, prints and drawings by artists such as John Frederick Lewis, Edward Lear, David Wilkie, Lord Leighton and William Holman Hunt, this is a biggy. So are the admission fees: £10 adults, £9 silver surfers (90%), £8 students and the unemployed. Strewth, Tate, that's daylight robbery! Haven't you heard there's a recession?

Joseph Wright at Yale

Here's a painting by a great British artist who was rightly admired in his day for his clever use of minimal lighting to create dramatic effects: Joseph Wright of Derby (1734-1797). He also produced fine portraits as well as his "candlelight" paintings. This example is Three Persons Viewing the Gladiator by Candle-light (1765), one of the exhibits in Joseph Wright of Derby in Liverpool, which opened today at the Yale Center For British Art in New Haven, USA, and continues until 30 August. It was co-organized by the Center and the Walker Art Gallery in Liverpool, a city built on the slave trade, a fact which the otherwise informative blurb ignores.

Board Play

Hordes of people are using my old Learn Chess software for the ZX Spectrum 48K, mainly because I tell them to! (Title link.) Board Play: Learn Chess Part 2 is also available at World of Spectrum to use online with your PC or to download. It isn't a chess-playing program. It acts as an umpire between two beginners, blocking illegal moves and giving helpful messages, such as "The kings cannot be adjacent". Input is by algebraic notation. So, if the kids are driving you potty arguing about the rules of chess, CLICK HERE to get them using Board Play. Note: there is a short wait while the ZX emulator loads.

Abu Ghraib in Spain

Here's another artist I can't take seriously, because he paints in the same style as our own Beryl Cook (CLICK). Beryl's chubby characters perfectly suit her witty sense of humour, but Fernando Botero's paintings of Abu Ghraib prison aren't supposed to be funny. So why paint them in a comic style? To take the edge off the horror? His paintings - The Circus - have done the grand tour. They're now being exhibited at the Instituto Valenciano de Arte Moderno in Valencia.

What's Up, Doc?

With apologies to Warner Brothers, I've invited Professor Wabbit to say a few words about Francis Bacon's Three Studies for a Self Portrait, which comes under the hammer at Christie’s Post-War and Contemporary Art Evening Sale in London on 30 June. Take it away, Prof.
"What's up, doc?"
Thank you, Professor Wabbit.
Tasteless billionaires note: Lucian Freud's Naked Portrait with Reflection will also be up for grabs.

Artist Insults Wales

Here's the latest piece of "art" tripe to hit the news: Dylan Hammond's see-through tinplate of The Iron Lady, otherwise known as Baroness Margaret Thatcher. It was unveiled at the Senedd in Cardiff Bay, where the Welsh assembly does its thing. To add insult to injury, it's been hung alongside a tinplate portrait of Aneurin Bevan, that Welsh hero of the Labour Party who created Britain's National Health Service. One Plaid Cymru assembly member called The Iron Lady's inclusion "an insult" to the people of Wales. Personally I think it's an insult to art. It looks like a feeble imitation of an Andy Warhol print of Marilyn Monroe.

Hyborian Adventures

And now for something completely different: mainstream contemporary art! This is one of the monsters to be duffed up in Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures, which Mark Ward - BBC News website's Technology Correspondent - reckons is a real competitor for the dominant World of Warcraft franchise. It's rated 18+ and there's guaranteed to be lots of swordplay and slaying. What's really scary is that our kids are playing this stuff while the planet is slowly dying. Talk about fiddling while Rome burns! Click the title link for Mark's revue.

Buyer Unmasked

To prove you don't need to be fat to be a planet plunderer, trim Russian oil billionaire and football fan Roman Abramovich is alleged to be the tasteless clot who bought both Lucian Freud's Benefits Supervisor Sleeping and Francis Bacon's Triptych, according to The Art Newspaper. (His lady's a doll, by the way, not the elephant I'd assumed.) A total of £60 million spent on tripe in one week! Think of the CO2 emissions those paintings cost the planet.

The Big Picture

Health warning: Being fat shortens your life and kills people and wildlife in other parts of the world.
Amidst news of natural disasters in China and Burma and the constant dribble of stabbings in London, two BBC News headlines caught my eye last week:
1. Obese blamed for the world's ills (CLICK)
2. Wildlife populations 'plummeting' (CLICK).
"Between a quarter and a third of the world's wildlife has been lost since 1970, according to data compiled by the Zoological Society of London" (BBC News). Now scroll down to view the Ecological Footprint Chart, which I've squeezed into just under 400 pixels. It shows you where the fatties live. Top of the planet plunderers are the USA, Australia and the UK (statistics from the World Wildlife Fund, title link). Together, the graphics above and below show The Big Picture.
Of course you don't need to be fat to plunder the planet's resources, but it helps!

Radical Light at NG

If Norman Rockwell had been an impressionist, I think he would have painted works like this: Emilio Longoni's Reflections of a Hungry Man or Social Contrasts (1894). This is quality Impressionism with a social conscience, far removed from those fuzzy French daubs which grabbed the limelight. It is one of the exhibits in Radical Light: Italy’s Divisionist Painters 1891-1910, which opens at the National Gallery's Sainsbury Wing on 18 June and continues until 7 September. This is the first of a series of exhibitions brought about by a deal between the gallery and Credit Suisse. So why is admission so expensive? £8 isn't cheap, and £7 for silver surfers is diabolical (87.5%) unless they visit on Tuesday afternoons, 2.30-6pm, to gain entry for £4.

Chelsea Flower Show

The RHS Chelsea Flower Show opens to the public tomorrow (title link). No garden gnomes, no Henry Moore's and no shortage of art. Look at these mesh flower sculptures designed for a café garden by Diarmid Gavin and Sir Terence Conran. I assume they keep off the rain. I must admit the garden designs that impress me are those which capture a traditional flavour and look as though they were planted years ago. Watch out for Real Life by Brett designed by Geoff Whiten (CLICK).

Moore in America

More Moore! Last year 28 of Henry Moore's overgrown garden gnomes blotted the landscape in Kew Gardens, London (CLICK). The New York Botanical Garden cottoned on to the idea and has planted 20 of Moore's monstrosities among its azaleas and bedding plants. There's no accounting for bad taste. Guys, I hate to tell you this but garden gnomes are out of fashion. They're officially banned at the Chelsea Flower Show. Moore in America: Monumental Sculpture at The New York Botanical Garden opens on 24 May and continues until 2 November (title link).

The Art of Confession

The V&A Museum employs a first-class graphic artist to create simple yet stylish visuals for its e-newsletters. I've reduced this one by 50%, from 255 colours to 8 colours and from 66Kb to 5Kb, in order to fit it into my blog. It's advertising a French Connection Friday Late The Art of Confession on 30 May from 18.30 ... er ... 6.30pm to 22.00 ... er ... 10pm. Guest curators will be Bad Idea magazine (CLICK). Admission is free. Click the title link for details.

V&A Goes Yung Ho

News release from London's V&A Museum: "To coincide with the V&A’s major exhibition China Design Now, one of China’s leading architects - Yung Ho Chang - will create a specially designed installation, Poly & Chai, in the V&A’s John Madejski Garden." Note for editors: "A press photo call will be held at 9am on Monday 2 June. Should you wish to attend, please contact the V&A Press Office on 020 7942 2500 or email press.office@vam.ac.uk".
Yung Ho's installation will run from 2 June to 1 Sept. Can't say I've spotted the parrot yet....

Henry Moore's Arch

This is Henry Moore's The Arch (1980) modelled on sheep collar bones. It stood on the bank of the Serpentine Lake in Hyde Park, London, until 1996, when its structure was deemed unsafe and it was dismantled. Thanks to the wonders of modern rock-engineering technology for heritage conservation, this ghastly monstrosity could be re-erected in its original position. Why? Couldn't we find something better to put in its place?

Michelle Charles

If you're into flies, Brit. artist Michelle Charles is the girl for you. Kettle's Yard in Cambridge is presenting Michelle's first major exhibition in the UK, from 7 June to 27 July. She paints more than flies, by the way: glasses of milk, medicine bottles, tea towels, pan scrubs and bars of soap. She also has a good line in bull, which might explain her Arts Council grant. Click the title link to visit the excellent Kettle's Yard website, which is a Coxsoft Art Silver Surfer Friendly Award winner. (CLICK for more winning websites.)

Afghan Modern Art

Those doctrinaire Muslim vandals the Taliban did enormous cultural damage in Afghanistan, because they regarded virtually anything but mosques and the Koran as unislamic. However, art is tentatively re-emerging. Turquoise Mountain - a foundation dedicated to supporting local Afghan arts and crafts - has with the support of a local businessman put up a $2,000 prize for contemporary art. Abdul Wasi Hamdard (untitled painting above) is one of the 10 shortlisted artists. Another is a 14-year-old Afghan feminist who thinks marriage is death to women: Sara Nabil. (Only if you marry a religious nutter, Sara. If you marry an affectionate atheist who knows how to make love, marriage could be a lot of fun!) Click the title link to view Sara's entry, among others.

M of Childhood Nudes

What? Nudes at the Museum of Childhood in Bethnal Green, London? Yes. Prim and proper nudes, of course. A Century of Olympic Posters opened today and continues until 7 September. It's surprising how many of them feature a naked male athlete, such as the discus thrower on this poster for the London 1948 Summer Olympiad. It is the iconic image of the games, but nobody has ever presented it as well as did Leni Riefenstahl. The price is right for kids and adults: free. Bear it in mind for the school summer holidays.

News From Turkey

I've just been dipping into the Turkish Daily News online - as you do - and found some amusing quotes. The big story is the smoking ban: "Turkey readies to go cold turkey"! The Queen's visit to Turkey produced a great gaffe: "The gracious queen, who follows the old customs of discipline and stiff upper lip compared to the rest of her family, follows well-set protocol rules, with less experienced Turkish leaders following her lead during landmark trip" (Fulya Özerkan, Ankara, 17/5/08). Compared to the rest of her family? Implication: what a shower the rest of those Brit. royals are! Last but not least, I found a review of Michael Dickinson's play The Rich Young Man at Istanbul's Maya Theatre: "Michael Dickinson, a veteran provocateur known for his controversial collages of eminent religious and political figures..." (Elspeth Metzler, Istanbul, 2/4/06). This poster must be a collage by the "veteran provocateur".

Make-up Artist Found?

Yesterday a corpse was found in woodland near the East Sussex home of David and Diane Chenery-Wickens. The body has yet to be formally identified as that of missing make-up artist Diane Chenery-Wickens, who vanished last January (CLICK). Police have re-arrested her husband for further questioning (title link).
Update: dental records confirm that the body found yesterday is that of Diane Chenery-Wickens (CLICK).
Latest: David Chenery-Wickens has been charged with his wife's murder (CLICK).

The Mask of Gordon

Yesterday's news that Madame Tussauds has decided not to erect a waxwork of PM Gordon Brown, due to his unpopularity, inspired me to create my own visual comment on the subject: not so much The Mask of Janus as The Mask of Gordon. For those of you who live in foreign parts, our clueless PM's last move as Chancellor of the Exchequer was to belt the poor by doubling their tax from 10% to 20%, in order that he could give the middle class a 2% saving in tax. His Labour backbenchers, who were very slow on the uptake, are now in revolt. So he's trying to work out a package of compensation. Too late, Janus ... er ... Gordon. We see you for what you are.

Bacon Sells Big

From the slums of Rio de Janeiro echoing with gunfire to the hushed wealth of Sotheby's auction room in New York. You can't complain that Coxsoft Art doesn't take you to see the world. Would you believe some tasteless fatcat paid £43m (£27m) for Francis Bacon's Triptych (1976)? That's a Bacon record. Isn't it reassuring to know that recession hasn't hit our multi-millionaires?

Greetings from Rio

Today Coxsoft Art received an e-newsletter from Jeroen Koolhaas and Dre Urhahn in Rio de Janeiro. Quote:

"Here’s a quick update on our latest project, ‘Favela Painting: Rio Cruzeiro’, a 2000m2 painting of a river in traditional Japanese style running through Vila Cruzeiro, one of the most notorious slums in Rio de Janeiro. The design was made in collaboration with the Amsterdam based tattoo artist Rob Admiraal. When we are not hiding from gunbattles between the local drug gang and the police, we are working on the insanely huge painting together with a group of local youths. Depending on the weather and the political situation we hope to finish the painting within the next couple of months."

Looks like William Morris to me, guys (title link).

BBC's Knitting War

Meet the Oods™. They're characters in BBC TV's Dr Who™ sci-fi series. The BBC's commercial arm went bananas when it found that a fan had published knitting patterns for Oods™ and Adipose™ on her website. Worse, busy knitters were flogging their work on eBay! "Gor Blimey!" says Aunty. "We gotta put a stop to this or our trademark's screwed." Under heavy pressure from Aunty, Mazzmatazz (the fan's online name) has withdrawn the knitting patterns from her website. But hang on a minute, Aunty. Aren't those knitting patterns her copyright, not yours? Come on, girls: knitters of the world unite!

ASA Bans Skins Ad

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has upheld 42 complaints against Channel 4's poster advertising its teen drama Skins and has banned the company from using the poster, which it reckons "could cause serious or widespread offence". I must admit when I first saw this poster I thought Channel 4 must be getting desperate for viewers, but offence? It's an attractive photo of April Pearson, who plays Michelle, and visualizes the typical girlie dilemma: Should I or shouldn't I? My only quibble would be: Does April look too mature for the part?

The Cartier Award 2008

From gross (next post down) to minimalist. How's that for continuity? Look closely at this ... er ... Limonada con dos pares de cojones (2007) by Wilfredo Prieto. It's as minimal as you can get: two lemons, a handful of sugar and a splash of water on the pavement and that's it. Art! Believe it or not, this ... er ... Cuban ... has won The Cartier Award 2008 with his proposal to install over 100 oil drums filled with liquid stirred by a frog at the Frieze Art Fair in London! Blurb: "The work will be a beautiful and poetic reflection on the current international obsession with accumulation and growth". Oh yeah? I just hope the RSPCA is there to look after that poor frog!

Record for 'Big Sue'

Lucian Freud's gross painting of "Big Sue" Tilley in training for the Couch Potato of the Year Award - Benefits Supervisor Sleeping (1995) - sold at Christie's New York auction for a new world record for a living artist: £17.2m ($33.6m). Another one for the vault. Who'd want this on their wall? Maybe if the wife is an elephant....

Tunick's Fidgety Nude

Spencer Tunick has been at it again, this time in the Ernst Happel Stadium, Vienna. There's always one, isn't there? Megaphone: "Oi! Woman in the middle, stop fidgeting! I've got one thousand eight hundred and thirty-nine people laid out on seats like corpses and you're the only one who can't keep her bum still. Shape up." Poor old Tunick. He wanted 2008 nudes yesterday - something to do with Euro 2008, whatever that is - and all he got were 1,840 including that pesky women who couldn't keep still! (Click the title link for the full shot.)

More Turner-prize Bull

Oh God! It's with us again: that corny old joke the Turner Prize. Which no-talent bums have been shortlisted this year? Here's a detail from Cathy Wilkes' Selective Memory, which touches on "issues of femininity and sexuality". Oh! That's what it does, eh? A more realistic title would have been Shop Window Dresser Goes For A Tea Break. I've seen it before, luv, down the High Street; it's very common. Now the bad news: this is the best of the bunch! Patronizing twit Dr Stephen Deuchar, director of Tate Britain and chairman of the Turner Prize judges, justifies the prize thus: "The general public look to the Turner Prize to introduce them to what is new". What planet does he live on? Those members of the general public with whom Coxsoft Art mixes expect nothing from the Turner Prize other than a depreciating titter. Currently they're flocking to see Iron Man. That's the latest thing in popular art, Dr Deucher. Ever heard of it? (Warning: if you're of a sensitive or artistic nature, don't click the title link!)

Exit The Londoner

Ghetto London's new Mayor, Bouncy Boris, has scrapped Red Ken's freebie propaganda sheet The Londoner, which wastes nearly £3m, and has pledged to plant 10,000 new trees with £1m of the money saved. Nice one, Boris. We're long on spin and short on trees. Take the headline on the March edition: CRIME HITS 9-YEAR LOW. Anyone who lives in Ghetto London knows this headline is nonsense, because it's murder and mayhem every time we see the day's news. The truth is that people aren't bothering to report minor crimes, because they know our police can't cope. So it's only when corpses are noticed or we're paddling in blood that anyone calls 999. The murder rate is the tip of the iceberg and trashes police statistics. Publishing propaganda such as this is not only a waste of money, but also an insult to our intelligence. Boris, it would be worth keeping the user-friendly The Londoner website as a what's-on-in-London resource. Just prune the unbelievable tosh.

UK Cathedral Stamps

UK stamp collectors will already know that today is the first day of issue for a new set of special stamps showing six of the UK's finest cathedrals: Lichfield, Belfast, Gloucester, St David's, Westminster and St Magnus. Unfortunately these stamps - designed by Howard Brown - are in monochrome, so they don't convey the beauty of the interiors as well as does this detail from a Mini Press Sheet showing St Paul's Cathedral (the 7th cathedral mentioned by Royal Mail, not included in the set of 6). Click the title link for details and magnified graphics.

The Supremes at V&A

Flushed with the success of Kylie Minogue's hot pants, the V&A Museum in London is now delving into the glamorous gowns worn by The Supremes in their heyday: The Story of the Supremes from the Mary Wilson Collection, originally curated by the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum (CLICK) and shown in the USA. This Tambla Motown girl group was so successful that only the Beatles had more number one hits! The show opens tomorrow and continues until 19 October, timed entry for all adults £5, under 18s free. Advance booking is recommended but will cost extra.

Warning: Violent Image

I don't know why galleries take the trouble to set up websites if they can't be bothered to update them. The website of I-MYU Projects in London is presenting as "current" a show which finished last month (CLICK). I'm left to assume that I Don’t Speak Very Much - an exhibition of new works by Korean artist Kijune Park and Japanese born artists Rui Matsunaga and Miho Sato - is this month's dip into Asian art ... er ... that's Oriental art to me. What drew my eye on the ArtDaily page was Rui Matsunaga's painting of a woman with bared breast and Mickey Mouse skullcap being strangled! I wonder, could this sexually violent image contravene our new law (CLICK)? Either way, this looks like "art" to avoid.

New Islington Museum

Today saw the opening of the new purpose-built Islington Museum at Finsbury Library in London. It cost £1.2m, of which £918,000 came from the Heritage Lottery Fund. A bust of Lenin is one of the items on permanent display. Aren't there enough busts of Lenin around the world without one in Islington? The populace used to show its disapproval by vandalizing the bust when it was on display in the Town Hall. So much for Democracy! Also on display are book covers stolen from the borough's libraries and defaced by playwright Joe Orton and his boyfriend Kenneth Halliwell. They were jailed in 1962 for these offences. It all reads like a waste of Lottery Funds. What about the William Morris Gallery - a far more deserving slice of our heritage - starved of funds and deprived of its curator by ignorant and incompetent councillors? (CLICK for WMG news.)

Doubt Kills

How's this for a powerful image? It's part of a new campaign which the British Heart Foundation has recently launched across London. The slogan that goes with it is "A chest pain is your body saying call 999". The reason for this campaign is that research has shown that more than 90% of Londoners don't know that one of the signs of a heart attack is a feeling of restriction in the chest. The artwork brilliantly visualizes this feeling. As the British Heart Foundation points out "Every five minutes somebody in the UK dies from a heart attack...". So, if somebody complains of chest pains or "tightness" in the chest, don't dither. Doubt kills. Call 999 immediately, then it's rest and reassurance for the casualty until the ambulance arrives. You could save a life. To learn more, click the title link.

Wild China

The BBC has been strangely reticent to advertise its latest wildlife spectacular Wild China, a six-part series which has its premier this evening on BB2 at 8.05pm. Maybe that's because China has received such a bad press since its hosting the Olympic games was shanghaied by pro-Tibet protests. The BBC is a world-beater at this type of programme - in fact it's about all it produces that is worth watching, apart from Sean The Sheep and the News -, so Coxsoft Art will be glued to the TV to see whether this series lives up to its usual standard.

RBA at Mall Galleries

Next Thursday 15 May the Royal Society of British Artists (RBA) opens its 291st exhibition in London at the Mall Galleries near Trafalgar Square. This year it will be showcasing the art of Barbara Richardson RBA, who won the De Laszlo Medal last year. As you can see from Pots and Cherries, her technique is first class, although I must admit I regard still lifes as the least interesting of traditional genres. There will also be artworks by other leading painters, sculptors and printmakers plus students' work from the Astor College for the Arts. So the show promises to be an interesting mixed bag. Admission charges: the website doesn't have this information, but I assume the damage won't be much more than £2.50. Some of last year's exhibitions were free.

Dylan's Doodles for UK

Last October I mentioned Bob Dylan's first ever art exhibition in Chemnitz in Germany (CLICK). The exhibition is now heading for London. The Drawn Blank Series of Dylan's doodles opens at the Halcyon Gallery in Mayfair on 14 June. At the time of writing, there is no information about admission prices. As this show is for hard-core fans, rather than for art lovers, expect to be stung. Contact the gallery for details at the beginning of June (title link).

Bondage OK in UK

Last Thursday the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill had its final reading in Parliament and received Royal Assent. One effect of the bill is to criminalize possession of sadistic images. People who have downloaded sexually violent pictures from the Internet will face 3 years in jail. This part of the act is the result of a campaign by the mother of Jane Longhurst, who was strangled to death by a perv addicted to violent porn. I suspect one needs to be sick in the first place to enjoy such images, probably as a reaction to having been sexually abused by one's mother. (Research found that 50% of convicted rapists had been sexually abused by their mothers.) A spokesman for the Ministry of Justice was quick to point out that the new law won't effect "those who sell bondage material legally available in the UK". So, for all you guys in the Ministry of Justice who love getting knotted, here's a poppet from Japan: Youji Muku's Jyo. (If this is a bum steer, Coxsoft Art News will resume in 3 years time.)

Industrial Facility

Here's another exhibition which opened in London today: Industrial Facility: Under A Fiver at the Design Museum. Sam Hecht and Kim Colin co-founded Industrial Facility in 2002 and with designer Ippei Matsumoto have established a reputation for elegant simplicity in their designs for mass-produced goods. The Chantry Modern Knife Sharpener (2004) is one example of the clean, uncluttered lines they create. The exhibition continues until 7 September, a must for design students. Click the title link for more information, including an interview.

Speed

Tomorrow the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts in Richmond, USA, opens an interesting "concept" exhibition: Speed, which looks at how artists from different cultures depict speed. One of the exhibits is Stephen Fox's beautiful painting Roadside (1990). The artist seems more concerned with capturing reflections and the quality of failing light at dusk than he does with speed. A long photographic exposure showing streaking tail lights would convey speed more effectively. Nevertheless, a masterly painting and a novel concept for an exhibition. And it's free! Next time the curators should broaden their horizons and include some of the great comics illustrators, sci-fi artists and video games designers, who really know how to depict speed, especially as this is an "outreach" show. UK museums, galleries and libraries have also been lumbered with this notion of "outreach". They're supposed to drag in punters from the ghettos, as though a whiff of culture will stop gang members from trading "skunk" and knifing and shooting one another! What wacko thinks up this twaddle?

Lost World of Innocence

Today the Lazarides Gallery in London opened the first solo show by young Brit. artist Miranda Donovan: Lost World of Innocence, which continues until 30 May. The OTT blurb compares her to everyone from Jacob van Ruisdael to Banksy, but she doesn't cut it for me. This isn't urban art; it's boring old graffiti for indoors hanging. Banksy has a style, a vision, an attitude, a voice, a political stance. This is just gang-tagging for middle class twerps who fancy a bit of rough on their wall.

Heath Ledger Portrait

More Aussie news: Vincent Fantauzzo's triple portrait of Australian actor Heath Ledger (CLICK for painting with artist and review) has won the People's Choice Award, which is voted for by members of the public in Australia. More than 32,000 people voted for Fantauzzo's painting, which was pipped at the post for this year's Archibald Prize for portraiture (CLICK). I wonder how many people gave more than a glance to that pretentious tripe which won the Archibald Prize.

Kylie Minogue, Knight!

Did you know that women can be knights in France? In Britain they can only be boring old dames. On Monday I read a BBC News item about Kylie Minogue's receiving "France's highest cultural honour, the Order of Arts and Letters". (CLICK.) The BBC's translation is a bit iffy, to say the least. Kylie's website records that she was awarded the Chevalier Dans L'Orde Des Arts Et Des Lettres (Knight in the Order of Arts and Letters). Kylie joins Ella Fitzgerald and Meryl Streep as a lady knight.

Wallinger's Horse

This is one of the shortlisted designs unveiled today for a £2m public sculpture in Kent twice as high as the Angel of the North. Amazingly it's by Mark Wallinger, that twerp who thinks dressing up in a bear suit is art. There's nothing original about a large white horse - you'll find one or two carved out of chalk around Britain -, but it does look better than the usual Wallinger white elephant. Thirty-three times life-size! Big job. The winner will be announced this autumn.

Le Pont Makes $41m

Back in February I reported that Claude Monet's painting Le Pont du chemin de fer a Argenteuil would be coming up for auction at Christie's New York on 6 May (CLICK). An anonymous buyer paid £20.9m ($41m) for it, a new record for a Monet. It is one of his finest paintings. Other works by Monet, Picasso, Van Gogh, Gauguin, Renoir and Matisse failed to sell. So maybe the market for third-rate art is drying up. To put this sale into perspective, note yesterday's news that Gordon Brown has pledged £5m toward aid for cyclone-struck Burma (CLICK)!

Boris Bans Boozers

Bouncy Boris bans boozers on buses and Tube trains in Ghetto London. This is a huge bound in the right direction. Being accosted by drunken louts on public transport is one of the many reasons people with cars prefer to drive into London, despite all the traffic problems they encounter. Whether a boozing ban will lead to less bus shelters being smashed by hooligans remains to be seen. The ban comes into effect on 1 June. Hey, Boris, what about chain gangs of convicted thugs, alcoholics and illegal immigrants to repair our dangerously pot-holed roads?

Dreamspace Trial Set

A trial date of 26 January 2009 has been set for the case of manslaughter by gross negligence against Maurice Agis, the artist whose inflatable Dreamspace sculpture took off in a freak gust of wind, rose 100ft into the air, killed two women and injured 13 others. He also faces a charge under health and safety laws.

Another Lowry Sale

This gloomy painting, An Old Church by L.S. Lowry, hasn't been seen in public since the 1940's. No great loss, you might think; but BBC News gets excited about anything by Lowry. It reports that this picture is coming up for sale at Christie's auction of 20th Century British art in London next month, estimated value from £700,000 to £1m. And it isn't the only Lowry up for grabs. There are three other major canvasses and a number of smaller works. Any other artists in the sale, BBC?

Turner's Experiments

Two free exhibitions opened at Tate Britain recently. If you're into J.M.W. Turner and printmaking, Colour & Line: Turner's Experiments is the one for you. This two-room exhibition with interactive displays continues until 30 April 2012 with artworks changing every 6 months (title link). The other freebie, Art Now: Alan Michael, is contemporary and the one graphic on Tate's website isn't encouraging, but you might as well give it a glance while you're there.

Embarrassed Miley

The saga of 15-year-old Disney star Miley Cyrus being photographed "naked", "topless" and "dishevelled" for Vanity Fair keeps popping up in the news (CLICK). The poor girl has apologized and feels "so embarrassed" about a photo that was supposed to be "artistic", but the whole thing is taking on the aspect of another Watergate! As your arbiter of good taste and all things artistic, Coxsoft Art thought it ought to delve into this furore. Here's what all the fuss is about: a bare back and arm, perfectly proper. She would show a lot more of herself if she wore a bikini on the beach. The mistake photographer Annie Leibovitz made was showing a 15-year-old as a sexy vamp with orgasmic red lips and tousled black hair, looking as though she's just sat up in bed clutching a sheet to her bosom, not exactly the clean-cut all-American virgin that Disney promotes. It's neither art nor rude, but it is extremely suggestive. That's the photographer's fault, not Miley's. So chin up, Miley. You can stop apologizing.

Blogger's CAPTCHAs

CAPTCHA: one of those pesky little graphics showing scrambled text you must type into your computer to defeat automatic sign-ups, acronym of "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart". One of the good aspects of using Blogger was the readability of its CAPTCHAs, but the new ones it introduced a week ago are a complete pain. Oh come on, Blogger. One of your sequences of new CAPTCHAs took me six attempts to get right. That is not user-friendly. You must do better than this. (For everything you ever wanted to know about CAPTCHAs but were afraid to ask, click the title link.)

Rabbit's Illusions

The May edition of Rabbit's Illusions has published an interesting interview with Canadian photographer Patrick Rochon, Light Painter, who creates imaginative pictures like this using novel lighting effects. There's an online gallery of 12 of Patrick's artworks and a link to his website. I must warn my readers of a more sensitive disposition that there is also a rather rude painting by Bob the Builder of Love: Triptych, which isn't as religious as it sounds and has absolutely nothing to do with the BBC TV children's programme Bob the Builder!

Catching the Light

Yesterday, to mark the 150th anniversary of Henry Scott Tuke's birth, the Falmouth Art Gallery in Cornwall opened a major exhibition of his work: Catching the Light: The Sunshine Paintings of Henry Scott Tuke (title link). A second exhibition opens at the Royal Cornwall Museum, Truro, on 10 May: Catching the Light: A Retrospective of Henry Scott Tuke (CLICK). Both exhibitions continue until 12 July. Together they will show 130 of Tuke's works, 11 of which have been loaned by Sir Elton John. Tuke was the Cornish Joaquín Sorolla y Bastida. Like his Spanish contemporary, Tuke sat on the beach painting impressionistic pictures of boats, fishermen and naked boys, but he lacked Spanish sunshine and Sorolla's discerning eye and spontaneity, and there are still dark mutterings about Tuke's relationships with his youthful male models! He was elected to the Royal Academy of Arts in 1914.

Adam and Ron Show

Continuing the subject of urban art (next post down) The Adam and Ron Show opened at Elms Lesters Painting Rooms, London, on Friday and continues until 31 May. The show features work by Ron English (USA) and Adam Neate (UK) who have combined their forces for the first time. If Muslim Mickey by Ron English (2008) is anything to go by, this should be an interesting exhibition. It might even be explosive! Click the title link for details.

Banksy's Dead Hoodie

Here's a better image of Banksy's Hoodie With Knife graffiti (2008) I posted on Friday, photo by Andy Rain. It clearly shows that blood from a wound to the heart which conveys Banksy's moral message: Those who live by the knife shall die by the knife. Of course I'm giving Banksy the benefit of the doubt here. The message might be: Carry guns, not knives! There is still time to visit the exhibition in London (title link).

Dan Dare, Scientist?

Recognize the dashing font in this logo? If you do, then take your grandchildren to the Science Museum in London and enjoy the nostalgia of little green aliens with large ugly heads - the dreaded Mekons - from the classic Eagle comic. Dan Dare & the Birth of Hi-tech Britain looks at Frank Hampson's futuristic space hero and credits Dan with stimulating a wealth of Brit. inventions during the 1950's and 60's. I suspect this is an unrealistic view. There is nothing as effective as war for stimulating science and technology. The need to build a bigger and better crossbow or whatever becomes urgent and funds are provided. World War II produced a host of advances as well as the drive to keep ahead of potential enemies. Dan Dare's gadgets reflected this creativity in the post-war era. The exhibition continues until 25 October.

Banksy Extravaganza

Here's a novelty for the May bank holiday weekend. Banksy has taken over a disused road tunnel in south London for use as exhibition space a half-mile long! The entrance is in Leake Street, Waterloo, London. He invited 29 other graffiti artists to join him in decorating the tunnel, but he kept the location secret until this morning. BBC London News was there like greased lightning. He calls it the Cans Festival! It opens to the public tomorrow for three days. Pick your way between crashed cars and add your own graffiti to the tunnel wall.

Mario Testino Signing

National Portrait Gallery again: Mario Testino will be signing re-prints of his book Mario Testino Portraits (2002) in Room 33 on Thursday 8 May from 18.15 to 19.15 ... er ... 6.15pm to 7.15pm. The gallery advises you to arrive early to avoid disappointment. There are no details online (this is e-mail news), so the title link takes you to the gallery bookshop. The bad news is the price: £40.00!

Call For Photo Entries

The National Portrait Gallery in London is inviting submissions for its international Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize 2008, open to everyone over 18. The first prize is £12,000 and the competition is fierce. The closing date is 25 July. Online registration closes on 20 July. Click the title link for details and to register.

NA Welcome Day

To kick off Museum and Galleries Month, on Sunday 4 May the National Gallery in London will be holding a Welcome Day from 10am to 6pm. You can see the Pompeo Batoni exhibition for free and listen to talks about the exhibits. There will be live music and activities for kids, including 'Animal Antics', whatever that is. Sounds good.

Sun Rises Over London

The sun rises over Ghetto London ... er ... Or does it? Could Red Ken have pipped Bouncy Boris at the post? While results for local elections in England and Wales show a massive swing away from Gordon Brown - that skinflint ex-chancellor who likes to hammer the lowest paid in society to subsidize the rich - we must wait until this evening to find out who will be the next Mayor of London. Echoes of Zimbabwe?

Fantastic Films 2008

I'm told that Sci-fi London's claim to be the only "dedicated" festival of its kind in the UK is spurious, but this may depend on somebody's definition of "dedicated". The 19th Annual Convention of the Society of Fantastic Films - The Festival of Fantastic Films 2008 - will be held at the Manchester Conference Centre from 17 to 19 October 2008. Click the title link for details.

Jeff Koons Honoured

Fame at last! Jeff Koons has been honoured with a Google Doodle. It appeared yesterday, and I'm sure you've all seen it by now, but have you tried clicking on it? Google is now offering a selection of artworks for you to put on your Google home page. I'll stick with my own home page, thanks Google. It's fast and works offline!

Blood on Paper

The V&A's latest exhibition Blood on Paper: The Art of the Book displays 60 works by 38 artists. Unfortunately it concentrates on gimmicks by big names in the Anti-art Establishment, rather than on book illustrators or book covers. So expect some dire tripe. A 6-foot monster created in lead and cardboard by Anselm Kiefer - The Secret Life of Plants (2008) - was commissioned for the show. On the brighter side, there is a book by Jeff Koons showing his Michael Jackson and Bubbles (1988); good for a snigger. And it's free, sponsored by a Jerry bank. The price is right. It continues until 29 June.