"Art" halts London

Shortly after 8am today Police were called to five suspicious packages in Hammersmith and Shepherd's Bush. Nails protruded from one of these packages, so the Police closed nearby roads, causing traffic chaos throughout West London. A self-proclaimed "artist" later took credit for these cardboard displays and was arrested on suspicion of causing a public nuisance. She's 36 years old! Old enough to know better, you'd think. What a plonker! But wait! Wait for the trial, when defence lawyers call the Art Establishment to the stand to testify that littering the pavement with cardboard tubes and boxes is a new art form; nails were a must to counterpoint the cuddly toys and plastic flowers. She'll be exhibiting at Tate Britain next.