Vettriano's Fetch £1m

Having just reported the sale of Moneybags Hirst's bejewelled hokum for £50m, I must say it's an anticlimax to report that eight genuine works of art painted by Jack Vettriano reached a total of only £1m. Bluebird at Bonneville (shown) fetched £468,000, a little under its estimated value of £500,000 (CLICK). Dance Me to the End of Love sold for a bargain basement bid of £192,000 (CLICK). Five of the early Bluebird paintings weren't sold. Despite receiving an OBE for services to the visual arts in 2003, Jack is still shunned by all the major British art galleries! "He's self-taught, Curruthers." "God!"