Ghetto London To Vote
One day left till the London elections. Here are the only mayoral candidates worth considering. Not so much The Good, The Bad And the Ugly as The Pretty, The Jester, The Knackered and The Gay, namely Siân Berry, Boris Johnson, Red Ken and Brian Paddick. Regardless of dodgy dealings in City Hall - now flooded! -, the Muslim Council of Great Britain has instructed the faithful to vote for Red Ken, so our chance of ejecting him is slim. The Eastern-bloc invaders tend to be poof-bashers, so Brian doesn't stand an earthly. Bouncy Boris, the working man's public schoolboy, shown here wrestling a heckler at Smithfield meat market, is neck and neck with Red Ken, so he might oust the old pest. And Siân, well, she's Green and pretty and in England might succeed; but this isn't England. This is Ghetto London. No chance. My two votes won't go to any of them, because they all signed up to an amnesty for London's estimated one million illegal immigrants. So much for Law & Order, which is what we so desperately need. As for Assembly members, they can't be bothered to canvass. So another two votes lost. I'll sit this one out, not because I'm apathetic, but because nobody has earned my vote.