Democratization of Art

Is there any benighted corner of the planet - maybe a Taliban crèche in an Afghan cave? - which doesn't know that Moneybags Hirst's two-day auction at Sotheby's in London begins this evening? Everywhere I turn this show pops up. Say what you like about Moneybags, he certainly knows how to manipulate the media. Beautiful Inside My Head Forever has grabbed more media attention than the latest blockbuster movie. Even the Daily Mail gave him a two-page spread last Saturday, albeit a caustic one! And the tosh that's being written about him: "one of the art world's greatest innovators" ... wants to "democratize art"! Advertising guru Charles Saatchi commissioned him to stuff his first shark. A restaurateur hired him to make pill cabinets. As for this conceit about democratization, look at the prices he charges. How about £1.5m for this part-flayed Anatomy of an Angel (2008)? Too expensive? It's better value than Death Wish, a piece of cardboard with cigarette ends glued all over it: £1.8m (cost, according to the Daily Mail, £3.49). Okay, Tightwad, how does £330,000 for The Immaculate Heart - Lost, a dagger through a pig's heart wrapped in barbed wire, grab you (cost £17.22)? No? Here's a cheapo: Neo Mycin Sulfate, a signed collection of spots; to you, guv, only £10,000 (cost £22.85). Democratization? Aw give us a break, Damien. It's as bad as Gordon Brown pretending to be left wing.